Ok .
Tomorrow mother tongue o level .
Everybody has been wishing each other good luck .
I want to be different .
Hope all of you will get the marks you want . =)
Hmm .
Wonder got differences a not ?

Today went bugis .
Pray .
Kino .
And appled .
In the end only prayed successfully .
Went kino want buy book .
Bugis de don't have .
So went orchard .
Before that went to apple .
See if can send for servicing .
Then damn .
Must go funan .

When praying that time , i felt empty somewhere .
Slowly , i realised .
She wasn't by my side praying with me .
Sigh .

So after staying in bugis de kino .
Went to orchard de .
In the end , still don't have .
ARGH !
So pre-ordered it .
They no stock all shit .
Marcus brought some books .
Oh , and he accompanied me today .
So thanks lao gao .

After that mrt-ed backed to yishun .
Went brought kfc for dinner for me and ma .
Went timezone , accompanied marcus play drum .
After that took 811 .
Saw lisheng onboard .
Long time no see le .
So , yep .
That's it i guess .

Of course i still miss her now and then .
This is something that will never change for a long time , perhaps even forever .
I do miss her .
I do hope for her to come to my side .

These few days haven't been happy .
Yesterday .
I swore .
Yesterday i see her like 10 .
Perhaps even 100 times .
I see her like she is just beside me like that .
Ya , she was beside me at some point of time .
No doubt .
Just felt shitty all the way yesterday .
Stress-core .

Didn't went for archery .
I'm a sharpshooter for gun .
Not bow and arrow .
So slack at library and toilet with cheng liew and kenneth .
At toilet wash up and stuff .
She was just outside the toilet .
When i step out of the toilet alone , she was standing at the side .
I so so so so so so wanted to go to her side and talk to her .
And hug her soooo tight .
Just to prove to her how freaking much i miss her .
But .
I know the response she give will not be what i want .
I think .

I miss her .
I swore .
Sigh .

Today , saw her too .
She was skating .
Her favourite sport .
She wanted me to accompany her .
In the past though .
I did .
By sitting by the side and watch her play happily .
I didn't skate cause well .
I suck at balancing anyways .

I just wish i was by her side to guide her .
Or just let her guide me .
But .
Sigh , guess it's all too late le bah .
*Tears*

Yesterday kenny terence and jia yin came over to my place .
Slack .
Fun .
If only she was around , fun-er .
The couple left earlier .
Not sure what time .
Terence left at around 5 or 6 .
That's it .
Before coming over to my place , went to botak jones .
Actually wanted to go 171 de .
But never .

Today watch night at museum with wen ling and kenny .
Terence couldn't came cause dear nicole was sick .
Hope she is feeling better now .
Watch .
Accompany wen ling go eat subway .
Headed back home .
Went to buy some food first though .

Before exit the door to comic connection , i prayed not to see her .
I was scared i might emo or see her with another guy .
But when i step out , guess what .
I was looking everywhere for her .
The two friends of mine were saying me .
But i didn't know how come i like that .

P.S.
Sigh , i just miss her so so so so so much .
I .
Sigh .

Well .
Got back my results for mid-year .
Yipee-ka-yeah .
Don't feel like talking about my result .
So heck .

Next .
Recently , live haven't been as pleasant as can be .
Especially on friday , when i got back my results .
In the past , well , only last year .
I always comfort myself whenever i failed .
How ?
By saying , thinking , that at the end of the day .
She is still by my side , loving me , doting me .
No matter what my results were .
Yes , of course , she would scold me .
But i know , deep down inside , she still love me .
And even when she scold me .
It wasn't with a harsh tone .
Instead , with a loving tone .
A tone that says i love you so so much .
But this year ?
*Grin*
Guess it's no more .

I'm spending my days like i can save them .
Makes any sense ?
Wonders .

Relationships indeed break many people's heart .
Teenagers .
Youngsters .
Whoever .
But ever wonder why we did that ?
Perhaps an Armageddon would change all these ?

Well , i guess everybody has their ups and downs bah .
This is something that God put us with .
To suffer perhaps ?
Life is not what everyone makes out to be i guess .

Mid year week .
Doing ok .
Excluding math .
Freaking tough .
Left 18 marks blank .

Why ?
Good question .
Here is why .

Got a 8 marks question is drawing de .
Wanted to try my luck .
Then damn motherfucking son of a gun son of a bitch suay .
Pencil no lead !
Of all the times .
Fuck .
Then exam cannot borrow stationary or shit .
So heck care lor .
8 marks like that bo liao .
Dulan sia !

English and Chinese paper one was a breeze for me .
A walk in the park .
Got difficulties la .
But not much .
So quite proud . =)
That was friday .

Monday went out with 4EC and studied .
Also met reynard and marcus .
Saw nonis as well .

Tuesday was math and social studies .
Ok with social studies .
Have been memorizing during the weekends .

So here i am .
Wednesday .
Mugging for my singapore history .
And a stupid one hour n.e. quiz tomorrow .
Shitty !

Oh ya ,
I didn't smoke today !
Two people are proud of me !

Another thing is examinations ain't that bad ?
Perhaps bah .
All i know is all the papers that i took , especially today .
She was floating in my mind .
Perhaps of the things she said yesterday bah .
The last two words that i heard her say .
Well , it wasn't something expected but .
She said M***** P*** .
She turned back before i could see her reaction .
After hearing her saying those two words .
I swear .
I freaking god swear .
Her voice is pasted into me .
Even right now .
That sweet voice of hers .
I miss it so much .

Also today .
Walked past her .
I was only the most 30 cm away from her .
I don't think she knew .
But i'm not sure .
I'm not sure of anything anymore .

I will try my best to quit smoking .
As promised .
But i cannot ensure that in the near future i won't smoke again .
But be reassure , i will do my darnest .
I don't want people to lost faith in me anymore .

Drank on friday .
Drank today .
Sigh .
Guess only drinking and smoking is the way .
Drank quite a lot on friday .
Family celebration .
Drank today .
Korea rice wine .
Not bad .
But not my type .
And shirmain told me something on friday .
Have been coping well bah .
Just that sometime will think here think there lor .

If she really has been lying to me all along .
Why only now then ask for break leh ?
Bah .
Ignore .

I'm quite bored nowadays .
Waiting for fallout 3 to torrent finish .

If i can talk to her .
Perhaps just once .
Just that would really satisfy me bah .

ARGH .